I'm not totally sure

In case you can't read this shirt, it says: I'm hers because she appreciates perfection." It was obviously written and designed by a girl and from the looks of the size, was meant to be worn by one. Thats not to say Chris is a woman...feminine at times but not a girl. Actually its good to give a guy a "you played great" pat every now and then.

Just wanted to throw that out there, you can send it right back if you want to....

I wish...........I was black. Wait for the Chorus.

Concerning the previous title

The title of my last post was a reference to a quote made by our dear friend Ted's mom.

In this case I intended on writing a post about how we Cardwell's are all scattered all around.

With Jessie's move to Charleston from Columbia real soon I've calculated our families Polygonal Distance¹ to be approximately 10,756.95 miles. Here are some pics of our families PD Polygon:

This is the whole Polygon... you can see it stretching across the Atlantic.


Here is the western-most sector of our polygon... as you can see it cuts through Winston-Salem, Wilkesboro, Columbia, and Charleston. Not intentionally in reverse alphabetical order.
And here is Jared's end... rather lonely/pointy... Jared always did know how to work the angles to make a point, and we always knew he would be the acute-est.
So that brings us here... to the little window that indicates our PD. So unless all of our continents re-pangaeate (RE-PAN-GEE-8 : Reform the Pangaean continent) Then our PD Polygon will be this large for at least two more years.



Well, this is the only thing I've done since I got to work at 9:00 this morning... it is now 10:37 so I think I'll do a little work.

Interesting experiment: Try to include God into any PD calculation. Instead of an exponentially larger calculation, you will find that the distance is actually reduced to 0.

Mad Love ♥
Jorge






¹ Polygonal Distance: A measure devised to give a quantitative value to the distance between multiple non-linear locations. PD equals the perimeter of the least angular polygon formed by connecting all locations with straight non-overlapping lines. Not to be confused with Polygamy Distance: The greatest distance between any two wives at any particular moment.

SCATTERED ALL AROUND

Hi people,

Lend me your ears... and I will give them back with interest (This Blog.)

So here I sit at work. Some of you may conjure up images of me amidst many racks and stacks of finely woven Persian rugs, but I can assure you that on any weekday this image is not accurate.

I have a new job during the week. Behold the one who is called Dean's Staff Technical Support.

I can uninstall adobe acrobat v6.0 and install v7.0 in under ten minutes. I install and fully patch windows xp on multiple machines with ease and finesse. Problems printing?.. I can fiddle with/fix your printbox with an "If it breaks again I'll come back guarantee"!

So my new job is much more fun and much less stressful.. I can come and go as I please as long as I get stuff done and remember to come after I go. I learn new things and get to know some pretty smarty pants people. I glean what I can from more developed noggins. I can work on homework while waiting for new projects and what not. I have keys to three university buildings and their labs along with a key that opens all equipment closets on campus. Basically this job is pretty sweet. I get to be involved with the upgrades that they do over the summer... that pretty cool.

Well I'm at work so I don't have access to any pictars... but ill post something else with some pictars to feed your eyeballs.

well I'm going to lunch now....

brb

Update Email

Dayton,
soo good to hear from you man. Thanks so much for letting me know about your prayers for me....ROCK ON, BABY! That's what I'm talking about!

Man, to let you know, I am doing GREAT! I really love it here. Kiev as a city is really interesting and huge. There are tons of places to go and things to see here. Great history and lots of remnants of the soviet era. I really love the people here as well. I get along well with my team and they have helped me out tons during this transition time. I really don't mind the weather at all. Its like teens and 20's here during the days and snows a little just about every day. Is it that cold or colder in Minneapolis?

I can't really describe it, but being here is just natural. There are so many things that aren't natural about it...like the language barrier, but for some reason I just feel like I'm home...or close to it. I just took my second language lesson yesterday and am realizing that this is going to be tough. I really want to learn though and I can't wait to begin speaking russian with my collegues. I'm only using small phrases mixed in with my english at the moment.

Everything is an adventure for me here...even going shopping. Is this can tuna or prawns? Is it spiced or not? Is it is water or oil? who the heck knows, I'll just buy it. Riding the metro is crazy too. At the peak hours, we are crammed in like sardines, no room to move at all. You are smelling and touching everyone around you...I don't know how I'll deal with it when it gets hot out.

I usually get around by walking...I only live like 10-15 mins walk from work and the supermarket. The metro ($.10 per trip) is about 15mins away as well. They have a tram ($.10 per trip) that runs certain places, so I take that too. But they also have these little vans or microbuses called "Marshcutka"s. They have many different numbers and each one goes different places. They are relatively cheap too...anywhere from $.15-$.40 per trip. I haven't learned how to tell the driver to stop at particular places yet, so it really is an adventure never knowing whether I will be relatively close to my stop or not.

Most of the older people don't speak english, but it seems like many of the young people do...at least to an extent. all my coworkers speak english so that has helped a lot. ummm what else...I'm trying to answer all of you questions...

so far, I have spent one weekend at home by myself, and the other one I spent with some american missionaries here. I went to an international church last sunday and the service was in english. Its been really good to start to hook into the expatriate crowd here. There were actually a bunch of african expats at this church. and by african I mean from africa...not african americans... It was crazy cause I didn't think I would see any black people here at all...this city has it all...

work is slow at the moment so that is good for my language study. I am helping to re-dub some of our materials into russian, but as I can't understand the language, I can't help too much. Things will pick up in the spring though, once we have some events to film and stuff.

Well, this email is long as it is....I should probably just put this on the blog...
I gotta go, but drop me a line and let me know how things are going for you...thank you so much for all of your prayers. Know that I am walking down the path of grace and it is paved with your prayers....

much love from your slightly less hansome brother in Christ,
Jared

PS-All the rumors were true...the women here are hot...and tall. I've never seen so many girls that are my type in one place before...it is redonkulous. However, my Iranian friend Kamran says that I should not date or marry one of these women because they are skinny and pretty now, but later on they become large babuskas that beat their husbands...some food for thought...

Kold Kiev...

Here is a view from my 10th floor apt. in Kiev. I would have stitched them together, but I don't have photoshop on my ole' faithful "lappy 486". You'll have to use your imagination to combine them.









Concordantly, I am happy to report that I now have coordinates for my apartment building!
50deg 24' 34.90" N
30deg 37' 43.95" E

Apropos: Are you a compu-box user with an internet connection of at least 56 Jkhz(jillion kilahertz)? Then this info is for you! Just navigate your web-portal to Google Earth if you don't already have it. Run the program from your dos commmand prompt (cd\coolprograms\touseontheweb\whereis jared,anyway?.exe), and then type in "Kiev, Ukraine". Once you get there, navigate your way to the SE side of the city (across the river) and match the coordinates! You will see my beautiful high-rise apartment building in all of it's glory. Ohh the wonders of the age of information. The satelite image is from the summer, so its a little greener that it is here currently.

vis-Ã-vis, here is the view from my stair well on the opposite side of the building...complete with a sidewalk sweeping babushka.








The section of the city where I live is mostly high-rise apt. buildings. The buildings are usually about 15 storys tall with large spaces (of grass?) in between them. It's a strange sight...its a very spacious city...not what I expected. I can't wait to see it in the spring. I work in an office that is on the first floor of a similar apt. building. It is about 10 mins. walk from where I live. This is very close (thank God!) because morning walks can be quite brisk.

One thing that I love/hate about this city is its road/sidewalk system. Just getting in from England where space was at a premium and roads were packed tight with small cars like a sardine tin, these roads seem like praries and dotted with large herds of buffalo'esque vehicles...huuuhhhhh?...whatever that means...
Basically, the roads are wide and the sidewalks are also very spacious...but their inviting width is a seductive ploy to reel in the unsupecting traveler to an icy/mushy grave (at least for the ego). What I mean by all of this is that no one clears the sidewalks so all the snow gets packed down so it looks safe, but underneath is a layer of ice that has taken me for a fool twice in as many days...
(un)Fortunately, I don't have any pictures of my public embarassment(s).

Conjointly, the food is almost as deceptive as the sidewalks. Don't get me wrong...the food here is geat and I really enjoy it. But the first few days I was sadly dissapointed by the catered lunch we order here at the office everyday. It's cheap (about $2.25) and pretty tasty. It comes with soup, main course, and salad. The salads are highly colored and very different from anything I'd had before. Upon seeing an item like this, I immediately thought "Yay! Fruit salad!" I hastily dug in , and to my suprize found nothing less than the exact opposite of what I had imagined...Pickled Cabbage. Again the cabbage was really good, just not what my expectations had readied my palate for...


To boot, My Apartment! It is very nice and I really love it. It has 4 components: foier w/ closet, bathroom w. shower & washer, Kitchen w/ oven, and living room/bedroom w/ couch/bed. I must say that I was wondering where my bedroom was when I first arrived, but it turns out that for heating reasons...my bedroom is also the common room. I now have reason to keep my room clean. This couch may look like an ordinary couch, but I plan on unleashing its hidden/wonderful capapbilites in my next photojournalistic memorandum.

Welp, I must wish my coterie "adieu". Know that I love you all differently in the same way. This goodbye has made me a little verklempt, so there is reason to talk amongst yourselves...I'll give you a topic...I am looking for a pet to greet me when I arrive home to my TV-less, stereo-less apartment. What should I get: cat or dog? DISCUSS!!

Dorkwagons: A Ukrainian Tribute

In the spirit of Glasnost and Peristroika...I am sending some pics of my everyday life. More to follow...

10 states in 24hrs....okay 7, in 28 hrs

And for the record, Mr. Tumnus had black hoof. Hey Jared, England is cool but the land of milk and honey and free flowing oil from Russia needs some representin' too. I'll represent from NC, VA, WV, KY, OH, MI, and FL. I've set foot (tire) in each one for work in the past 2 days . This trip was actually pretty good though. ...except for the plane crash in the middle of the road! After dropping a car off in Findlay, OH (after 9 Hrs of driving) I needed a ride to the Cincinnati. I found that my driver to the airport had had a few too many cervezas...so I got to drive 2 more hours to Cincinnati. Nice Pedro. To his credit though, the boss didnt tell him he had to do it. It was actually cool to ride with someone, even if broken english was the only communication. I've come to realize that anybody in the car with me is preferable to driving by myself. Thats why I'm excited that Jenae gets to ride with me up there next week to visit her Finance' Mark. Hes a great guy by the way, I recommend him to anyone. NEway, I spent a lot of time in airports yesterday and today. To keep from having to check baggage I carried on my camera and computer. I stuffed extra clothes in my computer bag. And of course whenever you carry a camera thats in the shape of a Gun they automatically make me step aside and check it out. The problem was that the gun/camera compartment also was the underwear compartment. Mr. Cardwell, you are not a terrorist b/c they would'nt make the mistake of drawing attention to themselves by wearing pants that are missing the button so when you take your belt you get weird stares from half of the employees. Airports=humiliation.
So in Miami, apparently the fast lane is reserved for cars traveling over 85 mph and they have to be German or Italian made. I did see some of the most beautiful cars ever though, including a Porsche 911 GT3, a couple of Rolls Royces and a few Ferraris. suweeeet. And something that baffled me initially but later I just realized it was just the concept of American extravagance and excessivenessicity taken to a new level....it actually made me laugh. Okay, so HUMMERS came out in the late 90's and were made popular by guvna/badass Ahnuld Schwarzenneger. Hummers are great for the military and Ted Nugent, but I genuinely don't understand the type of compensation issues someone has that would prefer to drive to work and on highways in one of these things! Come on America (thats my new catch phrase). I started laughing today when I realized that this monster of a truck that I was driving next to on the interstate was not a tow truck, but indeed some dudes pimped out ride. MOVE OVER HUMMER! I was half expecting Carson Daly to get out drinking a Pepsi. STUPID! HOLY MOLY! WEIRD! GOODNESS! CRAP! This is one reason why I hate/love Miami. This is amazing, because while we're supposed to cut our addiction to oil (says the prez) we have people driving these monsters b/c it grabs a little more attention and helps them score chicks! All this talk of ethanol and fuel cell, cold fusion......is it for nothing? Yeah, well anyway, I'm also driving a truck in these pictures, albeit a humble GMC Canyon. It might have well been a Honda Civic next to these dorkwagons. (Thats what they are called) Anyway, I love each and every one of you the same but in different ways. Have a wonderful night and don't forget to comment.